if i could only smile...

i don't know if jealousy is something that is bad nor good..
dubbed as one of the deadly sins.. guess god created it for a reason.
i don't whether to label myself as one, but then again, i am admitting that i am one jealous person.. just don't know..

owh ya.. i forgot.. last night, was my meeting with all the old komed members.. come to think about it again. i quite suprise that i myself not that keen on being the YDP and stuff, although all the juniors are eager to be one.. hehehe good for the..

the funny thing is that.. i don't know, but they looked so rehearsed, that this one girl.. said.. something about... "tipu lah if they said that they don't one to be YPD" but then again, yeap u'll always will hear people using that words.. but its kinda bored... yeah it is true, but do you really have to say that? guess not right?

Oh gosh, does that counts as trashing other people? sorry dear it's just what i think and i don't think it is bad.. just that... it gets me sometimes...... and someone said again, i am so close with all my batch, the thing is we were in the different class, and if i could only be on the same class with them i would love to work with them... awww.. such sweet words..... but reality is so good to be true.. not all people would love to work with you,

even me myself.. i don't think that so many people would eager to be in the same group as i do.. guess what.. the world does not revolves on us... sometimes all the "i can do it, i would do better" just don't work when the whole world are against you...

so in advance i would love to say, i'm sorry if this thing that i said somehow made you feel angry.....

but i think, this is my way of saying to myself to be much more better and try to reevaluate myself to be much more better....

p/s, gosh.. would you believe it!! last month i just got a year older... 22 years old already.. hahahaha... lame... and i am still acting as if i am 17... hehehe.. guess you inner-self really stay young for a long time is it??

Been thinking a lot...

i know.. i have not been writing my blog for a long time, guess i was busy doing nothing and also have nothing to write, sending my apologies to anyone who read my blog for not updating it for so long.. btw, guess it all in the news that my campus was one of the first to be closed due to the infection of H1N1, so i went to Layang-Layang, located at kluang johore for the whole week. did nothing much therer. although i did some traveling to Batu Pahat and Johor Bahru... it was so much fun there. although yeap people would say, going to KL is much more fun... maybe.. haven't got the chance to stay there, although i have so many cousins living there... i manage to take some picture there, but mostly the picture is so OTT, that i think that people would laugh at it... hahaha including me... going such places did give me an insight in how people would be living and how culture do differ in places.....

thanks for letting me stay in your house radzi!! i do love you place so much... and if one time you could come to my place it would be fun i think... hehehe

what shocked me the most this week is the death of Allahyarhamah Yasmin Ahmad, one of the best director in malaysia as i may say. Life to has it end for everyone, and everyone have to accept it one day...

sometimes i do question about life, what is our real purpose to live, as a muslim of course we live in the hope that day after we died, we would have the real happiness from Allah S.W.T. but for me i think that, it is something more, we were given time here to find love, friends, enemies and it is neverending.... a life is like a long walk, where you will found everything in the road. but for what? it is inevitable...

take for instance, you are meeting with someone else, and then suddenly you disappeared, then would the person would be thinking about you? the same way as you would during your friendship time? some may but some not.

2 months of holiday is over...

gosh, going back there again.. yay.. what would be like this sem?

firstly, of course new coordinator maybe will be heading the program, will be waiting who would it be..

also, my 2nd ramadhan there, fasting about a month there, fun i hope... hoping to get back home during the syawal...

what i hate going back there is that, i have to endure a long journey, from the airport to malacca, that's so far..

btw friends, don't be suprised with what you would see the changes in me... i think i gained some weight again.. lol

ok till then, praying for a safe journey ahead and seeing all my friends there... :D

love you all!!!

thank you..

it really gets me.. sometimes i wonder what would i be doing later on. people are so eager to finish their study and the go the working sector.

is it bad for someone to be envious of people who already achieve what they wanted to, i mean for the to be working and having all the money that they can have. as for me, i think what bothers me the most is the fact that i still don't any planned future yet. everything so unclear to me. finishing this, i won't be able to immediately have job instead i have to fight for a place in the industry that i think very demanding. unlike me, most of my friends are choose the career that i think really would make their future so bright.

people sometimes question other people's choices in life, thinking that it would be better for them to do something else. everyone is trying to do something in their life that would be beneficial for them in the future, even if that means to put their personal interests aside.

is it wrong for people to do something more different from that? although yes for sure there would be so many problems that might happen, i'm the type of person who is maybe very shy but i don't think that people should question other people's choice right?

what i happen to realize that, when people done something fairly different, they would be talk across the town saying that its better for him/her to do something else. people would only be thinking about the money itself. yeap i do notice nowadays money becomes more very important, but i really hate that just because of that you have to take the easiest way to do things in life.

but really, who don't want money right. but life is not that easy. i learned from hardest and i think that people who got to what they are now is pretty much lucky. me on the other hand are not that lucky to be able to be workingi n the young age. but then again i think it require a lot of guts and passion to do such things.. and i hope that whatever i do, it would be something that i would really love to do.. hehehe..

starting my holiday....

yeah... holiday just started for me. almost a week at home. fun. and at the same time i don't know what to do. its going to be some short holiday when you think about it again. what bugging me is that, i got nothing to do. wanted so bad to buy something but then i don't have any money.

forbidden to work, i try as much to lessen my usage of money.

omg, i feeling so nervous when i think about what is my result for this sem going to be, is it going to be good? the chances are very low........ but yeap just keep a positive attitude right?

anyway, its good going back, and suddenly i saw so many changes going on, whether it is for the good or bad. so many thing happens... don't know what to expect later on.. till then.. bye. :D

ok two more left this sem...

hey... omg people. i was so happy that my exam paper would be finish in about two more weeks.. the gap is pretty big.. so i think that i would still have time to study everything... but the thing is.. i'm so freaking missing home right now, and plus my ears is killing me...

i'm in such a pain, and hopefully i could stand it.. was it meant to be this painful??

anyways... i dunno. but right now i'm very consumed wif playing games an all.. and my paper is not that very far.... gotta get things straight...... hopefully i wont be playing games too much.. hehehe...

a week without assignments... hehehe

well at last it is over.. the sem is almost finished and yep.. no more assignment.. can't wait to go back home.. hehehe

btw.. i think this sem is rather hectic and i'm more emotional disturbed than before.. wahahah... so many things happen and thus i really so tired already.. don't even mention about my room... it so dirty that i think my friend are quite disappointed with me.. my cloths is everywhere, my bed is so messy u can even see all the book on it.. hahahaha whatever.. when i am lazy i can be so lazy.

if you guys know.. well this sem i was one of the comittee for the photo gallery, which of course were the worst as said by most of the lecturers.. what can i say, it is the worst, i think in term of ht eway is is been done.

i know that there is nothing that can be done to unde what has happen, but for me, they had tried so hard so that the event would go on as good as it can. lack of control and time management i think it one of the big causes of this problem, and that is what the most of the committee members is lacking.

every excuses seems to be a way to put the blame on others, and for me the best way is to accept it to be and move on...

it affected me so much that i don't know whether i would be able to do any events in the future and whether people would believe in me..

i totally got to see the true colours of some of my friends until now, and i think that it is normal for people to act that way, noting that i don't even know their background or life outside right?? hehehe... so what.. i respect them as they respected me... right?? hoohoho hopefully..

can't wait to go home.. hehehe... i'm hoping for the best this final exam and still will be able to get good grades... wish me k??? :D daa~