Sometime i just wish....

hey.. happiness is not that far right?

do you believe in happiness? is there such thing?

i love you? i miss you.. every sweet things that you enjoy telling others.. are they real? is it really from u? in my case yeah i do. i do miss you, i do love you.

a feeling is something so vague that sometimes people just don't see it.

it gets me sometimes.. the fear of being alone. how, if were to be alone, for the rest of my life, what would it be? will i be living in a retirement house somewhere? i am scared. i love everyone around me. i missed everyone. i like everyone. hopefully things will get better and things wouldn't be that bad in the future.

i wanted to know you so much that i think we can do something together, something that can make the both of us happy. but there's too much distraction and troubles arises that make it so hard for us.

lets just pray for good things to come our way.

My Best Friend.

They say, choose your friend wisely because they can either pull you together or down. i am someone who people can presume as friendly. i can smile and say hi to everyone.

There's a difference where you are in with someone who understands you and someone who only knows you from a far.

As for me, i learned that it is hard to start a friendship where you are someone who are somehow different from the other people. You will feel it lingering in your body. You'll start to wonder, will people accept me for who i am? will they be friend with me?

A good example is that, when you are studying abroad, you'll learn that you have to depend on others to help you go through all the hardship that you'll face. you'll learn that there is more that you have in common with them.

I love all of my friends, i love to meet with other people and share experience with them, try to make contact to them and always be there when they needed someone to. i still right now, trying to find one. someone who would share a piece of their hearts to me, the same way i would to them. and try, try so hard not to judge me the way i act and also try to take me seriously sometimes.

Time passes by, and of course all of the memories is not happy. sometimes, we fought, we cried, we felt that we've been stabbed from the back. That is life without a doubt. problems happen and it can't be denied.

We learn to respect our friends, we know what they are good about and what they are lacking. Thus we make it special to them.

But sometimes, friendship can really drain you. you feel so deprived that you got so annoyed with what they do. a freakish kind of emotion, that i think happen so frequent to me. Friends i guess will always feel that everything they do is something that is acceptable. but then i guess, what they forget is the emotion that one has to hold just to make sure that he/she will always be at the group that they feel likely to be grouped with.

A lot of best friend is fun, but when it is too much, we feel as if we don't have the time of ourself. we feel we are not good enough without them. in a case where we are too depended and believed to much on them. it is so annoying that way.

i think it would be not just me who felt that way. a lot of people would always feel the same that they even think worse.

In my opinion, a good friend is someone who really understand you, someone who would not look down on you and accept u as a person inside. not just for fun on you

Hey... I am Okay.

Seriously, I haven't been writing for awhile already. so many things getting in my way actually. so many things that sometimes i just keep it to myself that i don't think it is appropriate to tell anyone about that.

Just got my result a few days back, and boy what a relief that i managed to get quite a good marks for my fifth semester there.

i was not feeling so good when i was answering some of the finals. i lost confidence on what i can really achieve. I've been feeling this burden since my first time getting a Dean's List. What bothers me is that the expectation and also assumption that i feel. I know that i am not suppose to feel that way, but its just the way it is. i am a person who usually would over think on something that i think useless but in away could not bare to just leave it behind. Well that was some of the problem that i have there.

Back at home, well there was a lot of wedding reception invitation that came, some of which i managed to see. is it really my fault for not mingling around with them? i just could not find some connection, i tried, but then again i could not, i just feel different.

i am grateful, happy and just laid-back, some people would see me as a very naive person. right.

haish.. i guess i have too much time to spend, been at home for too long. haven't been in a function at all. where have all my friends went. is there still a place for me here?