so cruel........

gosh, really? for real? but why?

Hey, is it normal to feel envious of other? Just as they gleefully gliding freely towards their life, is life that real easy? How can people be facing a different way of life? What really bugs me is that, why sometimes we feel that we are overwhelmed and overpowered by others? We feel as if we are not that good compared to others, and seems like people would dislike you more, people talking on your back, and seems like you’ve lost all the persons that you put as friends, you seem to have disappeared from their life, as if you don’t even exist at all. People put their best play in hoping to gain something more from other, a sense of belonging. That is something that can’t be bought, but really? Do you think you got that? I sometimes feel myself as an introvert person someone who don’t really know how to mingle with people, because of the fright of ‘assumptions’, what do they think of me as a person? Am I bad? For some reason, I’ll find myself to have a very low self-esteem, as if the world giving me a lot of assumptions, which I found to be depowering me a lot, and to get off of it, I’ll try to smile, smile a lot, so that I won’t feel abandoned.

There’s one lecturer who said some true things about me, he said that I tend to take things to myself, I don’t like telling other my true problems, because I don’t feel safe, it’s hard for me to open out, and I guess that what will be my big problem in the future, I’m too afraid to get anyone in trouble, and I wanted to get over my problems all alone, but really, no one can even get through it all alone right? Guess I have to change, change for good sake of myself.

So what really bugs me right now?

Is it the jealousy? Why? I do have my own life to leave right, it’s different, you have to remember that you are not the same as other, god has created your path and it’s up to you on how do you want to tread it. The hardness of the reality is there for you to take and turn it all the way around.




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