regrets...

is it wrong to regret on some things you've done before?

i sometimes think that i should have not get a good score on my first sem, i regret because i hate how people would presume me that i am so good. i hate the feeling of people expecting me to do good in what i do.. it consumes me, it hurts me so bad that i in fact know that i am not that perfect that i do make mistakes.. i hate it so much.. i wanted to do whatever i would love to do and having people to presume me to do something like that, i really really feel uneasy..

maybe it is just me thinking this, but then i am a person who think a lot about people surrounding me and it affects me so bad.. for instance, a person would tell, i expect you to do better then this, taking from your past result, you are a great student, and why? why do you get something so mediocre like this?

i think too much that i made myself to believe that am i that good, will i be able to past myself? deep inside, i am scared, scared to face the fact that i am really losing it.

i am searching what is so different in me today and before, did something lost in the middle of everything?

i think i did lost something, my focus is somewhat shifting, on something. guess i have to put the focus i have before to make myself much more stronger!