happy 23rd birthday.

well today is my birthday. i am very grateful to all the wishes that i received, i love you all. 23rd already.. wow i guess getting older is very hard right.

i wish for the happiness all around the world.

a smile to all my friends

a dream to be achieved

a life to be well planned

a sweet messages from a lover

an unconditional love to my parent, brother, sisters, cousins, nephews, and nieces.

thankful to GOD,

i am who i am now, it is because of my surrounding, my friends, family. i love them so much. i learn so much, i love so much and cherish everything that i have with them.

time may fly, but memories never fades and will still be in my hearts,

thank you so much everyone

i love you... :)

Happiness ain't that far i guess..

Well too much happen to me last week. I am so much surprised that i will not getting my PTPTN this semester. Well who won't right.. i never realized that i have problems with this things. when i refer to the people who are connected to this matter, it seems that i had made a very silly mistake. Take this, it is said that i am an extended student, that i was supposed to be finishing my diploma last semester.. WTF.. seriously i am shocked.. so seriously..

suddenly i felt like so burdened. Been using my parent's money all the time for my enjoyment.. That is not a good thing i think.

Before, money seems to be not the problem, and right now it is. i have to think twice before even spending what i want. it is hard. seriously hard, when you are living far apart from your parents.

i know that some people might say that i am old enough to try and collect my own money. but seriously i don't have any job experience here and seems like my parents is the only source for money on my education.

i need to change.. a change would help me to be much matured i guess. matured in the sense of the way i spend my money.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

hurmm.. okay this is a promise i will try to update my blog as frequent as i can.. you know, i also have a lot of things to say but... then again, i am a person where people take lightly... a person who are so softspoken.. Seriously.. i think that i need to take a stand.. i have to brave.. right?? i am just a human as they are right?? i do have emotion to be taken care of and never to be left aside..

Getting Older.

It seems that time flies by so quickly that you could not catch up with yourself. You somehow felt the differences and u can't adapt to it.

When there's too much free time, you feel that there is nothing to do and the truth is that u have the whole burden to yourself.

The thing that i am afraid is that i am someone who can't seem someone talking. this is because i am a little bit curious and yeap i would thinks that what they are saying is something about me. i really don't know why.

i got the feeling that people do think that i am not capable of doing anything that they would presume me of not doing my job the way is should be.. it is not the matter that i can do it or not. it is the matter of trust. i feel that sometimes i don't get any trust from the people surrounding me and thus making me feeling a bit down. is it so bad??

what must i do then? i am trying so hard to be hard on myself and not feel sorry about anything that may happen to me.

sometimes, i feel so small that i am not at par with other people. seems like they got something more that i have. what the heck is that feeling anyway right... haish.

i am getting all frustrated about this. wish that i could find myself a way to think differently.