result out already...

alas, the result is out, have to say, i did pretty well although yeap not as good as last sem, manage to get DL this sem also, but yeap.. again it's lower than last, 3.65..

i'm somewhat upset but yeap, what else to do, it's not like you can change it anymore, gosh, how come i only could get that high... some of my friends did pass me.. so guess i'm not that clever after all.. lol...

at some point my ego self is somewhat hurted but, my family did say, it is good enough.. why must you feel down..

what makes me feel that way is that i sometimes feel burden with people's expectation, the truth is i'm not that good when i'm in my school years.. people may never know that.

did i played too much last sem? i don't think so, i did do as good as i could but what the heck, the 2 subjects that i got B is so hard i think

this thus made me question myself, am i good enough to be a journalist? if i'm not good with writing then it must be hard for me to be writing something that people want to read right?

next sem might be challenging for me, gotta travel a lot and yeap doing a more difficult assignment... guess just have to wait and see then right??

so for everyone, congrats on your result...

p/s: i'm reminding myself to be greatful on what i achieved... :D

getting angry all of the sudden.......

to say the least, i never know what my heart wanted actually....

the thing is i kind of got lost somewhere when it comes to certain things, for what actually? i totally don't know, if to say that your jealous of someone, its so totally true but then again what would you gain by doing so? nothing... i mean, really, nothing... even if you feeling that, then not doing anything so what? lol, i think it is better for you to just leave it behind and just accept who you are. you are not someone who's a poser trying to be known by anyone, just as far in the internet world. adding friend is just a click of a mouse away, but really? its really hard to know the real persona of the person, just by viewing the pictures and then reading some of what they wrote may never get you the full view of the person at all.... so why on earth do you have to be feeling jealous at all.

at least in the real life you have friends who would likely to know you and then befriend or enemy to you.. lol

but guess for now, life is more complicated and people are racing go get more friends on the internet. and i must admit, being one is really hard, what are there for the race anyway, nothing..... but after thinking for a long time, who cares, no one gonna be asking you, how many friends do you have, even if they ask you, do all the friends that added you would be giving you any kind of warm messages when you truly need it.. in my case, i admit that it's hard for me to give comments to them, just because i'm not the person who would like to make the first move even with my friends....

god, please banish all kind of bad things that has in me.. just for the sake for the future, i really wanted the best for me, even if it's mean not so good to other people...

something got into me...

what bothers me the most is that, when i started to think about something, i can't stop.

my mind will randomly think what would happen to me. not that it is a bad thing, but sometime i will think differently and people may perceive it as a not good thing to do.... well what to do anyway, it's not like they are controlling my mind anyway, gotta learned to adapt and find a different ways in connectiong in people..

in my case i have found a lot of different people which in fact have given in input on how that may see the world and try to compare it to me.

one grimming fact is that, they tend to control others, and wanted people to follow on foot with them, people do live that way right?

other thing is that, people are such a poser, it's a lingo that people so stucked up in myspace, friendster, facebook and anything that is an interent relationship website, people will try to be who they are not, kind of like their alter-ego. for me as an addict in such, i sometimes think as if it's so not there, i been able to switch onto my alter-ego, which indeed a warm person who can mingle to anyone, but when you see me in a real situation, a may be a little bit shy and may be quiet person, if i may not know you, but for my friends, i think that they have a clear picture on who i am, the person whom i may be.

but what is inside, it is hard to understand, whether they are happy around me or not, take for example, a friend of mine suddenly having a cold shoulder on me, for what reason, i really don't know. god would only know what i have done to him. maybe, just maybe, i did something bad to him, but then again compared to what he done to me, its far more serious (at least in my p.o.v). this coming study semester would be so hard, knowing that i have to rely on friends that i crossed and thus making a bad impression on them, or them growing to hate me. it bugs me! how sometimes i fail to be as good as they can.

friends if you are reading this, just tell me, am i that bad? a bad person who have a different side of faces and wanting to have just the right kind of friends who are popular and well known just for the sake of popularity? am i such a person?

true meaning of holiday.....

well some may say, holiday is the time for you to relax, chill out and do the things you really like to do. right? but then again, when you got used in doing so many works at one time, you may feel as if your are quite bored with the idea of doing nothing in a whole day.

guess holiday is not that fun anymore, lol. until you realize that you've been overdoing yourself and somewhat missing home so dearly. am i right...

it's already at the end of the year. i never felt that a year went that fast, adding to that i've been already a year doing my program at malacca. a year seems to be so short..

so many things happen whether it is fun or sad. even now, i feel and nervous thinking what my result would be for my second semester. dear god, may i have a decent result k.

somehow i feel as if i'm turning into a new leaf. new friends that i met really opened my eyes in seeing things in a different ways. back home you might only found friends that maybe have the same background of you.. and you feel safe for that, because you know you in a right environment, but try, try being in a place that is totally not yours and you are all by yourself. trying to adapt to what you should... all of this takes time and guts.

back home during my holidays really got me thinking that once you're back, you're just the same as your are before, places my change but the people you touch may never change, friends who are close to you will always be there, smiling and greeting you as if you never left them.

hey guys, how are you? great i hope?

i'm so kind of stressful in thinking what i might do after finishing all this? having a decent job is what i prefer, but then again you may never know what may happen. that really scares me, it's not like i'm not searching, but guess god have a better plan for me.

i sometime envy them, my friends who already got in to work, guess they are much lucky right. what is right for me anyway? what does life holds for me?

ok.. thanks for reading.. love your guys so dearly

uncertainty

i hate this when things like this happen, it's not the first time it happen to me, and it makes me sick... if i did do something wrong then tell me, why do you have to keep it to yourself?

if you think that i let you down, then just tell me the truth and leave me, just say "enough" and leave me... isn't it much more easier?

rather than hurting yourself more, how bout letting yourself free from me.......

how do you know when you're in the right place?

hurmm i always asked myself the question, are you one of them? and do you really think that you really as one as them?

i don't know, but sometimes, i feel as if i'm a wannabe, a lunatic who's trying to gain acceptence in a way, but i guess, i held something back..... i quickly learned that i am just who i am....

i love getting to know people, but then again, i don't know what people may say about me, they maybe making fun of me and yeap i didn't even realize about it.

gosh, i maybe that naive, right?

plus so shy, i know, yeap, someone who saw me, might be seeing me just putting my heads down, or maybe just walking straight not even glazing to my left nor right....

yeap, i sometimes feel as if i'm getting strange gaze from people, and i don't know how to react, not that i really don't like to see people, when i see people directly, i tried to be friendly and yeap give a smile, that's it, dunno what else to do..

ok next years resolution is..... to be more friendly.... hahahaha...... support me!

the day after arriving..

i arrived home yesterday, and it's so totally cold with all the rain..



hurmm i don't know even here it's been raining.. how bout your place, is it been raining??



it's so weird when i'm on a holiday, i got used doing all the assignments last minute and yeap rushing to read all the things before the quizes and tests... lol



eitherway, i would ask, what would change your perception to others?



guess some of my friend suddenly hate me, i don't know, have i bruised them or what?? if i did, then tell me why, so i could give my reason and even say sorry for even causing that.



lol anyway.. urmm i totally don't know what to do, so, if you got any idea on what should i do during my holidays, why don't share it with me. alright?

mistakes.... changes.... life - in the eyes of me?

well... well.... well... it never occurs to me to be writing on something like this, but i guess my brain really wants to be telling something that bothers me for a long time, what is the meaning of mistakes?? can it be mended? can it be turned back the way around?

mistakes......

as a human being i indeed have been doing a lot of mistakes that i think are unmendable, i hurted some people and i guess karma had played it parts to me.. i guess i take people to much for granted and it never occurs to me to be just who i am, a big mistake that i should have avoided, pardon me everyone if i evey cause you any kind of problems. but life has always been like that, we mingled around, joke around, and at the end of the day we completely forget about others and just think about ourselves. i really don't know what to do, somebody just told me that i am so selfish and thinks that others are no good around me, did i? it is the most dreadful things that i am trying so hard to avoid looking bad at others, did i do it to anybody, i can say to myself that i have the tendency to correct others but that's just me. i don't know if it is bad..... what should i d then, just keep quiet and let the problem to be swept away... may be i am a perfectionist, in a way, of wanting to get something that is perfect in front of my eyes, when instead i sometimes did mistakes, a lot of mistakes, and i hardly ever going to tell everyone about it.

i have the tendency to keep it to myself, as long as others don't know about it, sometimes i feel as i am thrown in a no man's land. i am alone with myself, friends are all around be but still have a hard shell covering around me, i don't know but i want to somehow make a hole in my shell, a small hole so that i can relate others to me.

i have a lot of things to hide, a lot... and i don't know until when i could hide it under my sleeves..


changes........

yeap its been almost a year since i've been studyin here, a guess what, i can feel that i in a different line between my friends back home, everyone have their own life to live now, some of the even are already working right now, and i am struggling to be what i want to be, i want to do, i guess i choose the road that is least walked on by people, and i am going to be in a different and not so like them in a way.

i feel as if i went back in time and befriended all the youngsters again here, as you have know, most of diploma students here are aged on their late teens or may i say, 18-20, and i, i am going to be 22 next year, and most of the said that i am a complete child than they are. well... what to do, that's their mindset right?? but then again, some of them are as old as me, and i can completely turned the table around and talk to a more serious business when the time came for me to do such things... i do right???

a week of study and boredom

gosh.. i got about 8 days gap before my final paper this sem and yeap, i got nothing to do here.... almost all of my friend will be going back home earlier that me.. that sucks man!!!!! my paper is on the last day of the sem, just like last sem...

about my human comm paper last sunday, hurm i don't know. either i did it well or completely made it as a mess... not only i got my brain jam on the final, i manage to forget some of the things that i have read for about 4 days straight!!!! that's just not fair.... ughh and after doing the paper i got so many butterflies in my stomcah, i want to hurl what inside of me....

i don't know whether my pointer will be good or turning out to be so bad this sem....

my last paper would be introduction to mass media, and guess what, i have a lot to cover.. still not started my reading yet....

i manage to borrow a novel from the library and in the midst of reading it.. by john grisham, the last juror,



kind of a thriller book, some how the book seems to be so humane in time i'm reading it, the writer manage to tell a detail story about the case.. it is my first time reading books about crime actually and i kind of like it... really want to finish reading the book...

can't wait to go home, but then again, i am afraid of going home alone to KL.... la la la la....

wish me luck for my final paper k...

god... i'm am bored??

well 2 paper left to finish, then straight back home.... hehehehe

still there is so much problems to be settled....

and a lot more to come i think.... so what to do?? even getting back home is such a pain in the ass... god.. why can't things be that easier?? ughhh i don't know guess these problems wants be to become more independent... hahahaha yeah!!! independent, here i come!!!

Afraid of what?

What I like the most with people is to watch who their really are. I’ve been here in what they say the most beautiful, up to date places and every other things and I think that they lost a lot of human touches in them, we became so very desperate for something that is not tangible and out of our reach. I feel as if I have been seeing too much lost in them, especially when you see them to be changing drastically in such a short time, for what? Something that is good for a short while?

Maybe I am a person who hates changes but, for god sake, how can someone just change themselves when they are in other places. The distraction that they found got to them. I don’t know let’s wait and see whether I would be a person who would likely be that. But really I don’t want to be like that.

I would like to raise a question here, for you what do you think hold you together her? And for me I have to say that my love for my parents. I know I’ve been a bad bad boy for sometimes. But really what holds me back to reality is that my parents are my priority. God.. what am I saying.. people are not that perfect okay…

Is that the price for the sake of coolness, am I loosing it too? I feel same? I’m not growing any horns or tails though, am i?

So the real thing is that, please god, don’t let me change for no reason, let me be me, although I’m not that cool at least let me have my pride please….

The fact is that change is undeniable….. learn to assimilate and stay true to yourself.

almost at the end of the 2nd semester..

wow.. it feels like it just started about a week ago.. omg.. and now its time for my final exam for the 2nd semester..

i just can't believe it, how will it be for me this time?? can i get the result as good as i got for last sem? the difference is that, this sem, i feel as if i am a little bit off of the track and my test are not that impressive... what to do? what to do?

this whole weekend was so hectic that i was so afraid that i would miss my final test on sunday. gosh, thank god i manage to wake up early as i could..

both of my final paper, for writing 4 the mass media and also public speaking was so hard because i don't read that much for both of it.. god only know what would the result be..

i been listening to some malaysian indie songs from xfresh.fm and i am quite impress with it.. wow... i must say.. malaysia really got talents!!! they do.. my friend, an indie-addict really like it.. hohohoho.. nice, i can know a lot from her right.

can't wait for the holliday... hehehe.. what to do? should i work or just stay at home. my mom maybe will be going to plant some rubber tree of their piece of land.. hahaha should i join them, it's like years that i went there, and omg, i went there recently and the road was, as steep as it could be.. hahahaha.. i was so tired.. adding that it was on the fasting month.. hahaha.... i dont know. if my mother ask me to join them, that i am toasted...

sorry so much for the late update on my blog.. but yeap that is the life of a student isn't it.. hahaha.. wat to do... la la la la...

can't wait to go home.. till then.. bye... hahaha

human after all.....

well, just to get your attention rather, been pretty busy this week. but during the weekend.. i manage to get a full sleep.. hehehe

i been thinking lately, i always been asked what would you do in the future and i think i completely don't know the answer.. whether i would do the things that i really like or i have to do the jobs that i thinks are beneficial to me.. when i think of it.. what on earth would i be leaving in later on.. will people would remember me, as a friend, as someone who is close to them. would they still be with me. through thick and thin of what we call life is.

sometimes i regret myself very much that i don't do things fully-hearted... what's more is that i'm stuck in what they called a very childish-like personality. which sometimes i really like and sometimes totally hate myself for. but really wat is the price for being what they called "mature".........

a week later...

i arrived at malacca about a week ago.. almost to be precise, the next morning the whole class for the day was cancelled... huhhh.. thats gud... hehehehe well its good though...

after that.. come a week of agony, finishing all the assignment that i totally left out for a week.. on wednesday, i done my public speaking. i manage to finish my speech before tuesdays. gosh it's so nerve wrecking.. omg.... hehehehe

i manage to do slightly better than my first speech i think, though i would never know what my lecturer would say.. hehehe....

then on thursday.. my group manage to finish the assignment that was suppose to be sent next week.. although it's a good news... it still need a lot of adding to do... hehehehe well ok then... please bare with me, because i don't have the time to update my blog everyday. i have to update it whenever i could.. so please bare with me. thankss.. daaa~

came back to Malacca

well this week i have to say i feel i kinda bored. with all the assignment that i have to do and have not done anything yet. tomorrow on wednesday i have a public speaking and i just manage to finish it. and the outcome? totally don't know. ughh.. i totall hate this last minutes work thingy!! i totally miscalculated my times and suddenly i'm stucked with so many works and seems like it will never finish... gosh what should i do?? hahahaha i'm laughing to my self..

slmat hari raya

actually i arrived at home since saturday, but then i kind of lazy to update my blog at that time, i arrived at 00.15 somthing sunday midnight.. well the journey was like so fun, i took a bus from malacca, which is my first time since i studied there, wow, there was a lot of people. so many that when i arrived at bukit jalil. i was so freaked out, don't know where to go,



eh, forgot to tell that i went back with a friend, Min from sarawak... hurmm and a girl also from sarawak whom we met right after leaving the bus. we then took the rapid kl,



from what i can see from there, is that, people seems to be minding their own business, the place is overcrowded with people doing what they want to do...



we went for shopping at kl sentral, which is of course, the final stop before i went to LCCT, we walked around there for hours before we got bored and went straight to LCCT..... i manage to buy something to take home but yeap its not that very important.



sitting like 2 hours and half, got me so bored... it's like you're stucked in a box. where u cant even move a muscle. thank god i sat at the very left side and got a view from the window.......... well it's dark anyway.

what i can compile in a week of holiday is that i didn't do any works. really i didn't even touch that damn book of mine. ugh been really busy about raya and everything. i give you the full detail later if i have time to spare.. llalala anyway happy raya everyone.. thank god fasting month is over.!!!!

can't wait......

well.. it's thursday, almost the end of the week, gosh can't wait to go back. but as they say, never anticipate too much about one thing, just take them as they are.

hurmm just been given money to go back.. what should i do with it?? shopping? where? kl? kk? hurm what should i buy? a bag? a cheap bag? hahahaha... i totally don't know for now, i really need some new clothings, hurmm yeap.. it's not enough..

but then again i can use it for other things right? savings? hurmm i'll think about it...

my holliday is too short for me, and the works!!! OMG don't even get me started, there's a lot to be done. i mean a lot!!!!

it will never be like a true holidays anyway, just that i missed home so much, my pc at home, my games my books to read.. will a week be enough?? hopefully right??

last night there was a major event, my college where i live, went of a 'mercun' war with the college next to mine. it's was so cool!! firecrackers flying everywhere, even the pak guard suddenly went there, to take action.. hahahaha..

i went to sleep right after sahur, which means about 4.30 pm something, i'm starting to sleep late lately. i guess i think too much. about what? hurmm not sure. a case of human emotion suddenly bursting inside of me..

hurmm.. i try to contact .......... but ........ didn't reply, nor i can't call ......... but why? ...... phone broke?? guess that's the reason.....

hurmm i am scared about this, is this the right choice that i made? but what will happen?

but then again.. i'll just go with the flow and see what will happen..

wish me a safe journey back ok...

slmat hari raya everyone, duit raya for me??? thanks.....

i've been thinking.......

well i've been reading a lot of articles regarding how blogs should be written, and it seems that i still don't get what i should write for my articles, everything is all jumbled up, and mostly all of my entry are about my emotional status at the moment.... not that it invovle others, just that i don't have the heart to tell everyone that owh i'm in deep trouble right now.. and i need to be alone....

i completely greatful that all of them accept me as a friend, but i guess that just it.. the rest it's up to both party to keep a good relationship among them. and right now, me myself cannot escape from having such problems... thus making friendship hard to be defend....

well i guess people got their own ways in deciding their very own clan where they can rule anyone that they want to... hehehehe

your honest opinion. have i been an annoying person? the one that always got to everyone's nerves. and honestly does anyone know me that very much? so much that they can even tell more than 10 true things about me?

guess none of them know me that very well.. but at least i'm capable in making them happy for the moment.

what i really want today is, a lot of phone credit.. so that i can call someone in a long time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahaha having no credit on your phone is like, seeing a lollipop, but you can't taste it!!! ughhhh it's so annoying!!!!!!

a lot of sweet and sour candy...............

well to tell the truth this week, there's just too much things happen to me, a lot! a lot of assgnmnet still to be finish and friends that suddenly have a sour faces on them, got my mid-term result for human comm on monday, well i just manage to get a moderate marks, 70/100 well that's what you got when you don't put your heart and soul to it? is it? i did study but yep, my mind just dont help me during that time i guess, my temporary file didn't became what suppose to be a long term memory.. hahahah god.. help me!! totally don't know what would happen to during my final test later on...

the rest of the days just goes by as usual nothing really big happen to me, just that guess there bound to be some mis-communication between friends right, sometimes, i wonder, what are the criteria that a good friend should have?? urghh, i'm not trying to make matter so much worst but really i myself not a very completely good person, inside me there are still a negative persona that wanted to be let out, that i manage to took care.. but still they manage to slip out and yeap that's what you see in me,

last week though, i was told that i was just 'copy-pasting' for my assignment, which struck me so deep! i didn't manage to get hold of it and use my brain to sort the matter right, instead i got to with my feeling and got so low self-esteem......

what's the point of doing a blog when no one is reading it?? well i think i know the answer, i s not that i wanted everyone to read my blog, but i hope that by doing a blog, i can manage to let all my stress out in studying here, i guess i'm not that person who would like to share almost everything about me to some person that i know, i rather tell someone that i dont know about anything that bothers me..... although... opss.. some of you might know me right??? wahahaha... either way, i'm not writing to get you mad... sorry if what i've wrote made your mad or angry.. very very sorry...

pen merah, pen biru,
you marah?? i luv luv luv you!!!

hahahahahaha.. love you everyone.... chupzzzzzz

wei... next week!! going back!!!!!!!! wanna go home wit me???

it really bugs me.....

for one thing, i really don't like being assume to do something that i really haven't done, gosh when on earth did i did that... it's prejudice! i really did it by my self using my brain, and seems like some people just dont believe it.. but why? it's the second time he said the same thing to me... what else should i do to prove that i'm right all the way..

adding to that.. i guess i quite a scene.... it seems like like i have a few miscommunication with some of my friends... i guess i went overboard with the emotion that ran on me that time.. so dude, i'm apologizing for all the wrongs that i have done... bare with me.. i have my own times of up and down.......

some of the things he said is true though... but really, it's a group work.. and i did my parts the best that i can do... but seems like all that i do is bad! a total 'BAD'! what should i gain from this anyway, it put a bruise on my already bruise self-esteem...

what to do? should i just say, heck who cares anyway, it's not like everyone is perfect. but then again yeap. that's what you got when you become a lazy bum.........

can't believe it's almost 2 weeks in ramadhan.. only 2 weeks left to go..... yay! can't wait..... hehehehhehe...

i'm so annoyed.... ok gtg..... hehehe thanks a lot! daa~

living a month of pure humanity.....

well i've been fasting for about a week now, wow, it's so fast, can't wait to be back home, but then again, come to think of it.. i have a bigger problems that i will have to face later... i haven't bought my ticket back to kl yet.. gosh.. they say it will only be sold next week on the 15th..

i really don't understand why on earth is my stomach is aching this few days, i eat right i think, but i guess the food was too bad.. i really hate eating 'sahur' here, although there are many food but none of them fit me well, either it is too spicy or it's not that tasty,

of course this is my first time fasting in peninsular, and i think that i manage to get use of it quite good for now, although at first i never thought i would be able to fast until it's 7pm in the evening,

not to mention all the classes i have to attend, gosh!! time really not on my sides. as is i am running all the time, the weather? don't let me start, it's like whirlwind, sometimes it's hot and sometimes, so cold, especially on the early morning, why? i really don't know.

i think i am encountering what they call 'home sick syndrome' although it's not that alarming till now, i really don't know what will be happening next... la la la... hehehe

guess.. that's what we call being human, the feeling of loneliness, helplessness, and angst at the same time. although you may not try to make people noticed it. sometimes u can't help but to show it.

i think i will be catching a cold this few days to come.. either i hope it will not be that bad.... hopefully,

so many things i playing in my mind right now, i guess i dream too much? but really? is it a crime to dream? i think not right? to be hoping to get somthing that u really want for life... to feel your heart filled with what you like the most in life....

i love u!!! hahahahaha you know it right?? la la la la la la

people would say, how can you love someone when u never met them? is that wrong??? i think not.

i want to finish this fasting month as good as i can.

gimmie a lot of duit raya please, i want to buy a new phone... i can right?? hehehehe

a week of holiday!!!!

wow... holiday for a week but it feel like just 5 days, still have a lot of works to do... OMG!!!

btw, been living in the campus for the whole week, and it't not that bad at all!! got so many experiences that really cool to be shared..... hahahahaha

urmm can wait to get home though...

eh.. almost forgot. it's almost the fasting month right??

will i be able to endure it?? wow time here seems to be much more longer than what i used too... hahaha god bless me pls!!!!!

hopefully by next week i'll finish all my works... la la la la... k dudes.. thanks for reading, sorry for the late blogging... till then... daaa~~~~

i'm older a year now...

well guess there is no turning back when it comes to our age right. for sure now i'm 21 years old. thankful to god, i been given a lot of time to make myself better....

what the heck there surely a light at the end of the tunnel, and hopefully something great will be waiting for me there, although deep inside, i feel a lot of pain right now, a lot. covering it up with all the energy that i show off.. la la la.. is it true?? do u believe me?

either way.. ok happy birthday. may god always bless me and give me time for me to contribute to the people...... Insyaallah.......

little things can turn to a big matter.

hey, i'm very sorry that i didn't manage to update my blog frequently as i can, it's been what, a week or less since my last entry and surely so many things happen to me for that time, well i went to mahkota parade to do some shopping and i manage to buy some new clothes, lol.... and also a sunglasses, which the frames are white, lol, kinda OTT right?(if you know what i mean by that). but who cares, when you think that it's good on you, just buy it right? well that fun...

cant wait for the next time i'll be going there again,

how bout my studies? well it's been good i think, although now i think that i am so stressful about it, and a lot of different things also, the assignment is somehow piling up and seems i dont have enough time to do it, i'm kind of in a dilemma right now, wheter i should buy a laptop or a camera, eitherwhich, both needed me to save my money for about two sems so that i can buy either one of it, and right now i'm kind of short in money, gosh, wish i have a lot of money right? someone, can you be my sponsor or anything? heheh just kidding

question, am i too childish? really? i never felt that i'm that childish but some say's that i do, but why? i am acting as good as i can, but still they percieve me as childish, is it true? if i am then, sure i won't be able to do my responsibilities right, i won't be able to do any decision..

guess i'm quite stressful that i mention unnecesarry things, but hey, i am capable of taking care of myself although i'm not that good at it, for god sake, i'm not like everyone of you, i'm so much different, i dont have the easy life that you do, so drop it, it's useless.

damn! get over it! ok then that's all chaow!!!!!

it's hard....

hurmm.. for some reason, i really feel like this sem is much tougher,
the lecturer are much more harder to pleased and OMG, for my BEL, the lecturer is someone old, i don't know whether he can give the right mark for my class, i so stressful right now, so much that i think i'm falling down... please help me,

btw i went to shop yesterday, i bought a sunglasses for about rm18(lol cheap), hahaha who cares, it look nice, with the white frames and all.... i'll upload it later for you to see, hehehehe

hey, i miss you, the fact that i've been here, it feel like i lost contact with the world, stressful environtment really got me, adding to that, it's feel like i'm not in my comfort zone anymore,

i'm trying to get a very good impression from all my lecturers but i think i rubbed them at the place and time...

please do tell myself that i need to study!

to many different have happen to me this sem, and i think i will change myself to a bad person if i dont take care of myself......

ok hope me for the best okay... daaa~ toodlesss!!!!!!

starting my 2nd sem

It’s so unbelievable that I’m in my 2nd semester here, well It’s not as hectic as last semester because there’s not much assignment been given out yet, but for sure, approaching it’s the final weeks of the semester its going to be totally busy and my god I have to work harder on my writing, which of course I can’t do that well,

The induction week for the freshies in my college just begun and they were only given a week to do so, it’s not the same when I got to do the induction, it’s more like 2 weeks for me, but yeaps it’s fun to watch them, it bring memories to me, last semester when it was us,

I arrived at Malacca on the 4th of July, on Friday afternoon around 1300 pm, well its fun to meet with all the friends that I left before, the freshie on my level is quite fun to befriend with, of course but I missed the time when the seniors are still there, they are much fun to talk with, hahahahaha

Last night, it was much fun to hear the freshie’s story, we laugh until around 200 am in the morning, but it was fun, hopefully tonight will be the same also right, I miss reading the manga that I always read, Bleach, I wonder how the story goes already and also the One Piece.

By the way, Roger Federer lost to Rafael Nada in the Wimbledon match, and Venus defended the title that she held, Yay! Congrats to her, I was more on Serena’s side but I love both of the sisters, in Roger’s case, I think he fought hard but luck wasn’t on his side, of course you win and lost some right?? Hehe

Ok I update my blog when I have the time ok, till then… Bye

what else to say, i've been so naive, gosh! give me a break, i totally cannot care about others feelings when the can't care about me, i've been such a foolish person! guess i have to be mo tougher, try not to get too good and become what they say a little bit mean..

a bit mean won't do any harm right?

i'm so tired of being so damn nice, what is the meaning of it when they themself don't respect me as a person, i totally hate people like that, i think that i've been so stupid all this time, to think that they are the only people that know me very well, but the fact is they don't!!! they don't even have any idea of what i've made of. but yet maybe i exaggerated it, but hey, that is what i feel right now. i can't do nothing other that to still be friend of the, i'm afraid of losing friends, i'm afraid of losing friends.

well aren't that just plain stupid, i totally have to have a moment for myself, just to think my life straight, sorry if i totally offended anyone, but yeap it may not be involving you or you or maybe you if you know you've treated my right as a friends... thanks a lot, i'm looking foward for a more sweet, sad, hilarious etc experience with the lot of you...................................................

aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

glad i let it out of my system,

i'm no poet who can write in an award winning literature, using a so called 'great words' which will attract millions to read because of it................ shit!!!!!!!!!!!!

last day at home.......

well today would be the last night at home, gosh, it's just like last time, when i was so sick to my stomach to feel that i'm going away again, but hey, got to be realistic here, you're doing this for the sake of your future, so that you can get a job. try and concentrate so that it will be a little bit easier.... gosh, hopefully i won't be feeling to much missing home....

i think i'm too afraid to let the people around me to be hurt and me myself got hurt at the very end.. gotta stop this..

by the way, if you realize, the posts before this really messy, sorry about that, yeap, that is the work of a newbie who bite more than he can chew.... bare with me please.

i'm feeling awfully not in the mood because i will be away again, but it's only for about 3 months and times seems to be flying to fast there! for real man!

hopefully this boring feeling will be fading away when i arrived there, there will be a new intake this sem, so can't wait to see the new faces there, and friends that i left... hey guys!! howdy! how's life been??

guess i will not be able to update my blog there. but yeap i will if i have the time ok. don't worry maybe there is a lot of story to be tell when i arrived there. later...

wish me a safe journey k.......

Wimbledon approaching it's final round......

Today I went to Pekan Ranau to do nothing, bought some junk food and got back home, today I didn’t do anything at all, just clean the house and yes a total day off just as same as the other day, hurmm guess I’m got myself all together already today, got my conscience back and yes life seems to be brighter today, wahh! The sun, it’s shining on
me! Though it hot, LOL…….

Guess I must get prepared to gather myself and my stuff to go back there already, even my mum has asked me to do so, hey! Stubborn fella, get a move please, or you’ll forget something…

By the way, I got to catch on Wimbledon, and my god, it was superb, guess I’m watch more tennis than football, why? I totally don’t know.. guess I love it more right?

Ladies' Singles

semi final will be featuring:

Serena Williams (6) vs Jie Zheng
Elena Dementieva (5) vs Venus Williams (7)

The number one seed is defeated by Zheng on the 3rd round if I’m not mistaken, will Serena will be able to put the Chinese Champion? I hope so, but Zheng has a lot of fire on every Match she went, gosh, she can really play well. I rooting for Serena, but yes anything can happen.



















Using a powerful serve and strong swings as a tool, will she presevere?















She maybe short, but she give a 110% on the match, watch out for the low balls she may produces









For Elena and Venus, I guess Venus will win, but who knows right? Venus is the defending champion here last year, and will she be making it to the final? The sad thing is, I won’t be able to watch the semi-final because I’ll already be at Kota Kinabalu at that time, sob…sob….. But I’m rooting for the William sister for the Finals….. yeah, will it happen though? Should just wait and see right??










Venus the defending champ!










Gentlemen's Singles
As for the Gentlemen’s singles, the quarter finals will be held tomorrow, and amongst the big names that made it to the quarter finals are, Roger Federer, Marat Safin, Rafael Nadal, Andy Murray….


Defending Champion, will he be winning again?

Number 1 seed Federer will of course sail to the Final if he played Extremely Well! I’m also rooting for Andy Murray for the Final, but I Think Rafael got the shot to go to the final if he can maintain his good play, Nadal just won the French Open two weeks before and I guess he can do better, but they are playing in two different court, and now they are playing on grass where they have to move extra hard different for the clay court……

Hope the best player Win!!!

For more info, visit http://www.wimbledon.org/

photos from http://www.wimbledon.org/ and http://www.photobucket.com/

geez........

I have about 3 days left before going back to UiTM, I feel like I need another long holiday, but then again I’m so bored right now, not doing anything and I think its better for me to do something right? My mission when I got back there, to try and get a good result again, enjoy my life, making a lot more strings of friends, changing my persona and everything,

Will I be seeing the same people as last semester, can’t wait to see them, I missed buying food at the ‘Pasar Malam’ there, every Tuesdays and Thursdays every week, but then again usually I will only buy some water there, cakes and not forgetting the deliciously made fried mushroom, lol, kind of good though, it’s very addicting.

Even though I’m at Malacca, it’s sad because I haven’t gone anywhere there, guess I got to go somewhere there right? But will I have time there, this semester going to be more hectic, assignment going to be mo tougher and gosh, I am taking the thought of Mahathir for my co-curriculum, and it has a final for it.

Guess I have to wait and see right?

By the way, during my last week I manage to watch about 4 movies:

1: The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
2: Fast Food Nation
3: Borat
4. Me and you and everyone we know

Ughhh….

Yeap, some may think that it’s a boring flick, but nope, as for me I liked it, I tend to watch something close to life rather that an action flick, although yep sometimes I need to watch action movie just to let the adrenalin rush again… hahaha

love the story Me and You and Everyone We Know, totally artistic... lol better watch it if u have the time!

i've been searching for a long time for 'eternal sunshine of the spotless mind' hurmm i think it's kind of a good movie right?

I recently downloaded Finding Nemo, haha yeap u heard me right, Finding Nemo, wahahaha… I love that movie, fish and sea hehehe, nice combination, feeling geeky? Opss I am! Urgghh a total goofball… la la la la don’t care anyway! Hehehe

Macam2 ne jadi ma sa, teruk ne, mana tidak telampau banyak befikir kan, wahahaha, napa d kunun macam tu, apa jga ko pikir ne oo-nan, haiya, bagus lagi ko buat keja owh, sem depan pown mo start da, hehehee… btw, have u ever think that u made a wrong decision?? Ntah la pla.. banyak kali sa pun inda taw ne… but one thing for sure, we win and lose something right??

Totally made someone mad today I think, though I don’t think I made it on purposely,, sorry for that.. guess something got into me! Hehee sorry! Is my apology acceptable?

Again, I’m very sorry.

BTW! X-Files movie is Out! watch it and tell Me okay!



Probably the best show on television on the 90’s and I love to watch it so much, I will glued in front of the tv just to watch it every week, but yes, after somewhat season the show become more complicated and because I missed a lot of episode after that I kind of not knowing what happen after that, but yes it is good to watch! Yeap yeap, better watch it!

so cruel........

gosh, really? for real? but why?

Hey, is it normal to feel envious of other? Just as they gleefully gliding freely towards their life, is life that real easy? How can people be facing a different way of life? What really bugs me is that, why sometimes we feel that we are overwhelmed and overpowered by others? We feel as if we are not that good compared to others, and seems like people would dislike you more, people talking on your back, and seems like you’ve lost all the persons that you put as friends, you seem to have disappeared from their life, as if you don’t even exist at all. People put their best play in hoping to gain something more from other, a sense of belonging. That is something that can’t be bought, but really? Do you think you got that? I sometimes feel myself as an introvert person someone who don’t really know how to mingle with people, because of the fright of ‘assumptions’, what do they think of me as a person? Am I bad? For some reason, I’ll find myself to have a very low self-esteem, as if the world giving me a lot of assumptions, which I found to be depowering me a lot, and to get off of it, I’ll try to smile, smile a lot, so that I won’t feel abandoned.

There’s one lecturer who said some true things about me, he said that I tend to take things to myself, I don’t like telling other my true problems, because I don’t feel safe, it’s hard for me to open out, and I guess that what will be my big problem in the future, I’m too afraid to get anyone in trouble, and I wanted to get over my problems all alone, but really, no one can even get through it all alone right? Guess I have to change, change for good sake of myself.

So what really bugs me right now?

Is it the jealousy? Why? I do have my own life to leave right, it’s different, you have to remember that you are not the same as other, god has created your path and it’s up to you on how do you want to tread it. The hardness of the reality is there for you to take and turn it all the way around.




MyNiceSpace.com

is it true??

hurmmm read this and gimmie ur opinion.... lol... is it true, got this from my friend... thankss......

What Afnansyah Agimin Means

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are loving, compassionate, and ruled by your feelings. You are able to be a foundation for other people... but you still know how to have fun. Sometimes your emotions weigh you down, but you generally feel free from them. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong. You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know. You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do. You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in. You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising. You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life. You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone. Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated. You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want. You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

What's" Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

i know now

guess i know now, why on earth i got B+ for my Lib102, it's because i kind of have a bad way of writing things, i always type without ever reading it back, which is really bad, looking by the mistakes that i made and didn't realized it. well so much mo thinking.... lol

what do you think when a person is avoiding you? i guess that only mean one thing right, either you bored them or you did something wrong, so totally wrong.

what else can be undone, when something happen like that, just gotta go with the flow.

today went out, and bought a magazine, Style: well.... i totally gonna read it.

btw just saw at the news on 8pm, guess sabahan were really kinda pissed off today, because someone just got the time to send one chained sms, which in returned making all the people got so freaked out and urgently went to get fuel for their cars. that's so totally bad!!!

Holidays..

gosh, did i really enjoyed my holidays? hurmm been staying at home for like a whole 1 and a half month already, well was is fun, being in holidays, from the other side of the coin I was so bored, but yeap, it totally good, not having all the stresses of doing the assignments sending them and the hectic daily life there for a while is so soothing, lol, everyday i woke up, it's as if i'm so energized, lol, hahahaha really?

Don't know what else to do, other than to cater on the house, doing the same chores day after that, but hey! its only for a month or so right, so cherish it!! owh i will surely, after not doing it for some time i guess it a way for me to enjoy my holiday...one thing i got when i went home is my extra weight, believe it or not, i gain back my pounds, oh why! not that i'm a weight freak, but i guess i've been dreaming to shed a few pounds, but really, who cares right? the fact that everyone it trying their best the make them visible in from of so many eyes really made me thinking, why? yet sometimes, i feel the urges to have that kind of moment, to be known and befriended by a lot of people, is that bad?well one thing for sure, it's totally gonna be a different environment next time. a total change from before, hopefully it's for the good. the subjects getting tougher, gosh hoping so much that my pointer will not drop drasticallyi'll update my blog when i know what else to write... (like anyone will read this right?? lol!!)

It's near,

my holidays is coming to an end, after two weeks, i be going back t0 study, my 2nd sem there, so many changes will happen, i totally hope it will never affect me, but one thing for sure, i'm not the total junior there! yay! can't wait to hear the junior experience next sem, mine was somewhat fun! i must say, although sometimes, i feel like its hell being there!



will it be the same this sem?? hurmm i wish it will, but i think it will be a lot harder, the subjects is a lot more harder, adding to that is this sem will have a fasting month!, gosh! and i'm i a totally different invironment! because at my place, the break of fasting is around 6.00pm and there it's around 7.00pm.. hopefully i can!!!! wahahahahaha..



hey, most of you must say this blog is soooo boring! because i don't even have any idea in what i'm writing, i'm not a person who has a full view on a topic, sometimes, when i see someones blog about politics and anything serious it occurs to me they're sometimes right, but most of the time, i think that the way observe things is just one side of the matter, try looking i a whole Point of view.



some of the people's blog that i read, really have the point of view of a adult, and they quite young from me, ermm do i need to grow up?! thinking the way old people should think, lol, sometimes i laugh at myself, how can you, a 21 year old person still acts like you somewhat teenagers, is that wrong anyway?



people do precieve that people who are a little bit older than them and acting like them is so wrong, i guess that is the price for growing old, responsibilities and people's expectation with certain age.



today i felt so boring, totally boring, i went to pekan ranau, but nothing fun there, but i met with my friend though, nice to meet her anyway...... we didn't talk that much because she's with the friends, but yeah i'll be meeting her anyway, because we in study at the same place....



by the way, i was watching channel [v] the other there, i heard this song by Asa 'fire on the mountain' it's kind of like wyclef style of singing, filled with blues and i feel in love the first time i heard it, well i dont know about you, whether you'll love it, but i love it, here! listen to it.






if you have any info about it, well tell me okay? really want to know more about her



here's her Myspace http://www.myspace.com/asaofficial



well ok.. continue later! see ya...............

something new....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7ftozVc3lI

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wanted_%282008_film%29%22%3Ehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wanted_%282008_film%29

'Wanted'

OMG! just watch that trailer on youtube, looks like a good flick, angelina is so so feisty, she really can pull a super strong woman act, like in Tomb Rider, super HOT!!!!!! other casts Morgan Freeman, Sir James McAvoy to name a few. Will it be A hit??

Btw, today has been the same, exactly the same as yesterday, been playing the computer for the whole day! i'm becoming more Geek! lol... in due times, i will be wearing glasses (Hope Not!!!!) hurmm what else to do? maybe i should go out right?? but where? life has been like this for me, a total boring person, i can sense that people around me sure feel bored with me, guess better force me to go somewhere u're with me. all my friends said that its very hard to bring me along because i tend not to follow them unless they forced me to go with them or unless i really wanted to go.. hehehe, believe it or not, at Malacca i never went to anywhere, lol guess that was a waste of time right?? HEY Friends! don't forget to Force Me to go with you next time k?? lol...

i really dont have the mood to right something about my classmate there for now.. maybe in the next entry i'll think about writing about it okay..

i guess i can say that i really feel envious of others you know, the fact that they have a lot of connection in friendster, or myspace or anyway really bugs me, but really?do there really get in touch with everyone of them? i admit that i like to add people but then i'm not that keen of giving them comment, but i do reply any of comment that came, so if you became one of my friends, just leave me any comment msgs and i surely be replying them.

For real?

today i didn't do that much, stayed at home doing nothing at all other than watching tv, listening to music, well you must be thinking, God! he is really lazy! Go and do some work! hehehe whatever, i guess i'm not that good in working right? But I do like to have a lot of money! so that i can by anything that my heart desire.

But what is it with luxury that people seem to think that it is important for everyone to get. luxury and daily needs are two different things and people seems to be losing the line seperating them, people made the assumption that the more expansive stuff you buy the more it will be good, but for real? who on earth can afford to buy all of it, people who are really lucky will have the opportunity to buy some luxurious items easily while other work hard just to earn a living,

sometimes, i do feel a little bit envious with people who can bought anything that they want, especially all the teenagers who have their money to flaunt, but hey, it's not theirs' actually right, its their parent's money, and they are using it as if the generate all of it, of course i'm also one it, but yeah, my parents are just a moderate family, most of the income will be used to pay all the households bills, etc, including my studies, i'm the only one who is still studying and seems that i'm using money as if i'm drinking water, its seems to be flowing and fast. yeah, we can forget it easily but when i think about it, i have chills, i feel like i owe them big time, and to have a not so good grades i feel bad, as if i let them down. i want to get a decent job with this, and i am scared if i can't finish it, it going to be tough but i have to trade the road that i have taken, the road that stated to be walked by so many people, my age seems to be old to get a diploma but i guess this is what god has given me, the opportunity to deem myself for the failure of the past, i failed my STPM miserably and it has affected my life so much. i felt so down after that, my dad were like "that what you got when you don't study hard". really, when you don't like something surely you'll never get it done perfectly. guess i learned it the hard way right?? what's next?

in another story, well in about two weeks, i'll be leaving for school again, can't wait, hoping for the best again, please, please help me to get a grip of myself, don't let me fall for all the problems there! may i have the great time there, and a good lecturers, good point! okay!!!?? You Can do it.

P/S one of my first reader for this blog wanted me to tell more about the first impression when i came there the environment and the friends that i made, well sure, bare with me okay!!

1st blog..... word of a noobie...

well talk about being a noob, what am i suppose to talk then?? i really don't know whether i should write in english or malay, or a sabahan slang at all, i wanted all to be able to read some of what i would like to say, but i dont have the guts to right in malay or sabahan slang, i dont think that people would enjoy reading what i will write it here anyway right? well how about telling a little bit about me first right.

nick name: unan (pronounced oo-nan)
age: 21

currently studying at UiTM Malacca, taking Mass Communication there, some of you might be saying, God! he is 21 and just started taking diploma, well it's because of my laziness when i took my STPM that result in me getting a very very bad result then, guess that what you'll get when you dont have the heart to study or anything right?

started studying there on 23rd of december 2007, and finish my first semester on 11th may. well being there was somewhat fun because i met with a lot of different personas of people which i must say turned out to be in different shades of colors which painted my world. got to say, it's not that easy being out of your comfort zones at all. first day being there, i was like in a totally different place, being ousted, feeling of not belonging there, God! i really wanted to be home the first week i was there, it was so hectic, the schedule was so packed and i have no time to rest my head. especially on the MMS week. i totally hated it so much. i hated being screamed at that time, it's like i was a bunch animals!! gosh i have to remember that time. fortunately i manage to get over the first sem there, and i can't wait to be in the 2nd sem there!

i fortunately got a quite good result there, i owe it to all my lecturers there! thanks a lot!

i never thought in a million years to be able to take a diploma there, its because i failed my STPM and seems the world to be turning its back on me, i feel all the opportunity is closed on me, i feel that i'm a total loser of myself, i forced myself, i must take something to make myself better, i must be truth to myself, hey! you're going to be 21 this year! suppose you must have something around your waist that you can use in there future right! i told myself to be who you are there, and not forgetting the most important things that you suppose to do there that is to Study!!! hey please remind me if i forgot that okay!!

well i guess that's what i want to say right now, hopefully i will be writing some more things afterwards. thanks for reading and do please give any comment or any idea in what you wanted me to write.. thanks for reading!